the magic of thali

magical is harry potter and his ability to apparate,
and the daily prophet read by mudblood,
magical is also wife and her ability to forgive,
and husbands and his ability to forget.


it is magic when things dissapear and reappear,
so, when love keeps loosing and coming,
is it magic too?

indians would say,
its the magic of thali,
is it?
i learned that love is something that binds people, forever
not in chipsmore mode.
but i guess, that's a fairytale-bedtime-story, happily ever after.

love do fade away,
and after a while, your heart is burning back with hot love.
is it magic?
or is it just me?

no its not,
its just love.
love fade away, so that there are space to find love back.
so let it be.
it does not apply to u?
call the Hogwarts, ask for Prof Snape.

the gemini in me

i'm happy but i'm sad
when i find a fork, i'll either stuck in the road, or find myself lost.
i have no where to go, yet, i browse the airline to find cheap tickets.

i'm focus, but i'm blurred.
it's like having a GPS without getting connected.
it's like running to an end, without drawing a path.
i saw the end, but did'nt know how to get there.
so i gamble.

i'm excited, but i'm tired.
when i look up and see a star, i jump
once, and that's it.
so i conclude that stars are impossible to reach.
and tomorrow i saw everybody own a star in their pocket.

i cry but i smile,
but not that happy cry.
and not that smirky smile.

a price to pay

i googled him. For no reason.
He's my soulmate, he is. We're somehow connected.
But that was almost 5 years ago.
And we are over each other.
The irony of being connected; we're in total disconnection.



To make me comfortable, I do not want to mention hubby here, particularly in this entry.
I love hubby, no matter what. So, this entry is off the record.


we were in love. or at least, i love 'him'.
so in love that i hate to be in love after he left me. (or straight up: he dumped me!)
he's not my first love, nor my first heartbreak.
But he left an unheal wound to my not so fragile heart.
no one did that, and till today no one can do this to me.


i am over him. and now i can accept the fact that we're not fated to be together.
but love is love, it hurts.
And it is not a mere softcopy document; delete it from the hard drive,
and delete it from the trashbin !

The memories of him is still here, some missing coordinate in the furthest portion of my heart.
Just the memories.

After all it was a sweet memories.

And back to the part where i googled him.
unfortunately, i found him.
and very unfortunate; with his latest picture.
luckily, he is smiling with a son in his hand and wife by his side.
and oh yes, i am a stalker.


honestly, i felt lucky; that i found his family's pic.
Allah has shown me that He hold the ultimate power.
(Who could imagine what i can do with a photo and a complete email & phone num ??)
they look happy, at least i must admit the son's happy eyes.

In a very weird way, Allah tells me that we're on our own path now,
and He has design our path that suits us most, that will lead us to love Him,
the ultimate love that we should abide.

Allah knows my limit, He designed weigh that i can bear, height that i can jump to,
Alhamdulillah.

It hurts, yes. But, that's the price i shall pay for being a human. For being in love, and dumped.
For gaining experiences..an invaluable one.

So, let's go back home, kiss my kids and pour them the love i should have pour.
Hug my hubby tightly, so he'll know, no matter what,
I love my husband.

to my envy

i envy other's stories,
they told me how they pick and choose a good kindergarden
for their lovely daughter,
well, the one that offers gimnastic classes, with piano lessons
and with english medium.
i asked them how much does it cost monthly,
RM250, from 815 to 1145.
- can't afford that

i envy other's experiences,
they wrote and shared about their enjoyable trips,
holiday in bandung, or bangkok, or singapore,
mostly, they did their shopping there.
good, as i can't even shop in malaysia.
can't afford the time and money for it.
- i end up with wearing baju kurung everyday to work - no pants

i envy other's life,
they own a big house, good car, and everything i envy..

sigh.

I learn

i learn, from my book,
that 3C2W coaxial cables can support 45MB leased line up to 90meters of length

but i learn, from other's experience,
that 3C2W coaxial cables, will start giving errors after 80meters of length

i learn, from the internet and books,
that when router shows serial is up, line protocol is down
the physical line is definitely down.

but i learn, from my own experience,
that sometimes, it can be router's fault, reset it.

i learn, from the courses and training sessions,

test gears test result is almost accurate,
if it shows no error, there's no error then, confirm.

but i learn, from my mistakes,

that test gears are also a tool,

it may and may not detect whatever it suppose to detect.

I guess i've learn,

that books, courses, trainings are good references.

But experience and mistakes,

is the best reference.

The best teacher.

To myself, good luck!

after a long break

the long awaits.

finally we welcomed our new home-mate (huh? such a word?). My maid actually arrived. After a long awaits, and quarrels and shouting with the agent we welcomed her full heartedly.



[The maid]

Couldn't judge much about her, she has only been 2 weeks plus in our home. But, she looks fine. She did her work as instructed, and to my relieve, she recite Quran; almost everyday. For me, it is an realy indication of a trusted person.



[The agent]

for me, she's not an agent. she is as good as our phone set. Call other agents to get us maid, and charge us. lucky she's a woman, older than me, i hardly raise my voice to her. But as i've told her, only Allah knows if she did not cheat me ( haha, tuh dah tahap geram tuh).



queues of kenduri



well, we'll be busy for kenduris this coming month.



[atiqah and ammar's aqiqah]



will be on 24th Nov. Mak is busy preparing all the hantaran , yes, this time around we do not request Maksu to do the hantaran for us. Mak did all the hantaran by herself.

[shah's solemnisation and reception]

shah, my bro-in-law's kenduri will be held on 5th Nov (yes its on wednesday !) at the bride's kampung and on 15th November in Kelantan. Of course Ma will be extremely busy. And oh, my future sis-in-law is a penangite, Balik Pulau (reminded me of the most delicious laksa in penang). So, relatives and family's friends will definitely drop by our little house, but i still do not have any plan for their visit.

[friend's kenduris]

firstly susan will get married (finally) on 15th Nov. Yes, the same date with shah. Can't make it and promise susan one humble hantaran.

ella's wedding was a week after raya. Can't make it, i was also in Kelantan, cuti raya

Well.... after a long break

Ramadhan delights!

Ramadhan is a month of ibadah. So let's delight our days and activities with ibadah.

As for me, this ramadhan, i am :

1. trying as hard as i can to be khusyu' during my pray time.
2. be a good and patient mum.
3. trying to be a veryresponsible boss.
4. trying to be a good wife, ie. no malas-malas.

its a simple list. And its a simple wish.