wowee hungry!!

its late night, i am hungry. Consuming another dish and i'll be bloated.
instead, let's feed my eyes..

1) our breakfast, the bread are homemade ! (by atiqah lah of course)

Bread, and cucur ikan bilis.

I made good coffee.. Trylah! Kopi Che Nah

2) Our lunch -

Masak Lemak Ikan Masih & Nenas (salty fish with pineapple in coconut milk & tumeric )

The delicious (at least for me) brinjal with chillies (sambal).
And the secret was udang kering!

Daun ape tah i forgot, but it taste nice

Ikan merah (red snapper) marinated with garlic and salt, deep fried.

Supalicious!

Ah.. the cucur udang..

bad debts

i owe myself a lot. And one of it, is to post my kids' pic in here. A long awaited post. So here goes.

Ilhan

Masyitah

Ammar Rayyan

All of them!!

the nanny has to go abroad again,
when she went abroad, the prince and princess has to hide in the royal orchard,
where the fruits are so sweet, they even forget that they are away,
and the barn is so cosy, they don't have to play out in the sun.

But the eldest princess has to stay,
to safeguard the king and queen,
so they will never feel alone, afterall they could not feel alone,
long ago, a witch came down with her broom, cursing them with chaotic life.

pity the eldest princess,
she cried all day, missing her playmates..

the magic of thali

magical is harry potter and his ability to apparate,
and the daily prophet read by mudblood,
magical is also wife and her ability to forgive,
and husbands and his ability to forget.


it is magic when things dissapear and reappear,
so, when love keeps loosing and coming,
is it magic too?

indians would say,
its the magic of thali,
is it?
i learned that love is something that binds people, forever
not in chipsmore mode.
but i guess, that's a fairytale-bedtime-story, happily ever after.

love do fade away,
and after a while, your heart is burning back with hot love.
is it magic?
or is it just me?

no its not,
its just love.
love fade away, so that there are space to find love back.
so let it be.
it does not apply to u?
call the Hogwarts, ask for Prof Snape.

the gemini in me

i'm happy but i'm sad
when i find a fork, i'll either stuck in the road, or find myself lost.
i have no where to go, yet, i browse the airline to find cheap tickets.

i'm focus, but i'm blurred.
it's like having a GPS without getting connected.
it's like running to an end, without drawing a path.
i saw the end, but did'nt know how to get there.
so i gamble.

i'm excited, but i'm tired.
when i look up and see a star, i jump
once, and that's it.
so i conclude that stars are impossible to reach.
and tomorrow i saw everybody own a star in their pocket.

i cry but i smile,
but not that happy cry.
and not that smirky smile.

a price to pay

i googled him. For no reason.
He's my soulmate, he is. We're somehow connected.
But that was almost 5 years ago.
And we are over each other.
The irony of being connected; we're in total disconnection.



To make me comfortable, I do not want to mention hubby here, particularly in this entry.
I love hubby, no matter what. So, this entry is off the record.


we were in love. or at least, i love 'him'.
so in love that i hate to be in love after he left me. (or straight up: he dumped me!)
he's not my first love, nor my first heartbreak.
But he left an unheal wound to my not so fragile heart.
no one did that, and till today no one can do this to me.


i am over him. and now i can accept the fact that we're not fated to be together.
but love is love, it hurts.
And it is not a mere softcopy document; delete it from the hard drive,
and delete it from the trashbin !

The memories of him is still here, some missing coordinate in the furthest portion of my heart.
Just the memories.

After all it was a sweet memories.

And back to the part where i googled him.
unfortunately, i found him.
and very unfortunate; with his latest picture.
luckily, he is smiling with a son in his hand and wife by his side.
and oh yes, i am a stalker.


honestly, i felt lucky; that i found his family's pic.
Allah has shown me that He hold the ultimate power.
(Who could imagine what i can do with a photo and a complete email & phone num ??)
they look happy, at least i must admit the son's happy eyes.

In a very weird way, Allah tells me that we're on our own path now,
and He has design our path that suits us most, that will lead us to love Him,
the ultimate love that we should abide.

Allah knows my limit, He designed weigh that i can bear, height that i can jump to,
Alhamdulillah.

It hurts, yes. But, that's the price i shall pay for being a human. For being in love, and dumped.
For gaining experiences..an invaluable one.

So, let's go back home, kiss my kids and pour them the love i should have pour.
Hug my hubby tightly, so he'll know, no matter what,
I love my husband.

to my envy

i envy other's stories,
they told me how they pick and choose a good kindergarden
for their lovely daughter,
well, the one that offers gimnastic classes, with piano lessons
and with english medium.
i asked them how much does it cost monthly,
RM250, from 815 to 1145.
- can't afford that

i envy other's experiences,
they wrote and shared about their enjoyable trips,
holiday in bandung, or bangkok, or singapore,
mostly, they did their shopping there.
good, as i can't even shop in malaysia.
can't afford the time and money for it.
- i end up with wearing baju kurung everyday to work - no pants

i envy other's life,
they own a big house, good car, and everything i envy..

sigh.