So, Annie are you OK, are you OK, are you OK Annie?

image from : http://mossavi.files.wordpress.com/

I am 1mm close, to blog about how stressed my life is nowadays with the kids, the messy tonggang terbalik house, the cholestrol level, the kids cries, shout and jatuh sana jatuh sini, until....
this morning, on our way to the lift, when i heard a weird loud shout, giggle and cries from my neighbours' house. I go, what happen?

Then, the other neighbour (a housewife) came out from her house, and told me "Dah dua tiga hari dia macam tu, tertekan rasanya. Kesian, tapi saya tak tau nak buat apa" .

She shouted words like "Pegi sana, jangan tekan-tekan aku, pi baca buku, orang lain semua baca buku, hangpa gila ka!? Makan ikan masin, orang suruh makan lain, awat takdak benda lain ka!?" and others, mostly are crappy, that I can't remember, annndd during her shoutings, her small kid (maximum 5 years old kot), cries.

Ya Allah, sedihnya aku masa tu. She's obviously not 'conscious', stressed and what if she did something to the kid?

I did told the housewife to just have listen extra carefully from the pavement, in case anything happen to the kid (sebab aku kena pi kerja kan..).

Anyhow, how long has she been keeping whatever inside her heart until tak tahan dan burst out mcm tu? Obviously, from her ramblings, what ever she said are things that dia simpan dan diamkan selama ni. Now that's my assumption, tapi there's logic fact behind it.

See, I'm a mother & wife. Shamely, sometimes I enjoy times away from the kids, husband and home. It is a tiring task to be a mother & wife. One day or another, we mothers felt stressed. Now, the only naturalizer that could fade the stress away is a mother's unconditional love.

Tapi unconditional love pun tak bermakna aku sangat baik, mothers are human too.
When you three kids scrub the floor with papaya while I'm in toilet , purposely spill drinking water (nasib baik air kosong) on our sofa (one whole bottle), bancuh air gula dan minum, punggah keluar semua tudung ibu & untuk fashion try-outs, going tantrum for not getting whatever u want, masa tu memang STRESS, memang kena piap! semua.

Of course la bila teringat balik rasa cute nya budak2 ni, tonyoh betik kat lantai.. And bila cerita kat mak aku, mak gelak rasa lawak. Tapi, at that particular time, Tuhan je yg tahu geramnya.

Maybe jiran aku tak pernah ambil peluang meluahkan rasa stress dia. Maybe dia rasa, stress sebab jadi mother is a sin, sebab it's her responsibility. I know deep inside most mothers felt the same, rasa bersalah kalau tertekan disebabkan anak2 kecil nangis, rumah bersepah-sepah. So, dia simpan je perasaan stress tu. But I want to tell this to every mother tak kiralah anak satu ke anak ramai ke that it's ok to feel tired and nak nangis and tension.

Which is why I think it is very important to have someone to listen to you and sometimes spank your face so that you could walk straight again. I'm lucky enough to have a super-understanding mom and sis and friends (u know who u are). I'm sure everybody has someone's shoulder to cry on, so make use of it.

So kawan2, bila aku call and talk craps or nangis ke, or tulis email yg tah apa2 ke, bare with me. And kawan2, I have my shoulder for you too.

** Food intake:

Tuesday : 1 senduk nasi, ikan + vege, rambutan (lots of it), 2 keping gardenia whole fiber.
Wednesday : 1 cup nasi ayam, mee bandung (share dgn ilhan), 2 keping kerepek.

** Exercise

Tuesday : half an hour jog inside my home (jogging setempat!), 10 cycle in the air.
Wednesday : 3 floor stairs climbing (up & down), sit up (kejap gila, 10 kali je, tu pun dah malam)

Camne nak ilang cholestrol ni weyh?