the verdict

I am :

This is my 2nd week at home, after we enjoyed our Sarawak-Brunei-Sabah journey.

(will of course blog about it later).

I've been bombarded with works, once I'm in the office.

Taklah banyaknya sangat, I know, but still being me, I'll be panicky, menggelupur and indecisive.

As if lah kerja aku tu super susah.

Besides all that, I still spare sometime to think of my next trip (sempatkan?)

This time, with kids.

Yelah, poor them. Asyik-asyik dicargo kesana-sini.

Kids, they're simple yet fragile.
Scold them everyday, they'll be chicken scared of u and do whatever u ask,

but long term, who knows what will the kids turn to.

Maybe someone who will be very very scared to try anything,

or maybe a person who can't decide for himself.

Ilhan Yasmin, compared to her younger siblings,  has to be handle delicately.

I have once spank her, for being lazy and lembik while doing her homework.

(and when i said its ok to rest for a while, dia boleh siap lompat2),

I spanked her so hard, I could feel it on my hand.

And i regret it until today.
The mark of my spanking is visible on her cheek, 2 days after that.

I am so teruk.

Budak tu baru je 6 tahun, homework adalah so not compulsory.

Plus she's been bored.

And looking back, my biggest mistake was, at that particular time, I'm also being influence by work headache and someone yg menyakitkan hati.

Pity her.

Anyway, she's been avoiding me for at least the whole week.
Even avoiding to talk to me in phone while I was in Miri.
And she's been super sensitive, raise your voice a bit, and she'll cry, air mata meluru-luru turun.

My last trip, was enjoyable, yet I can't take off my mind from being guilty.
Teruk rupanya to feel guilty to your own kid.
Kalau dia buat salah pun after that, ko akan rasa bersalah yg amat nak marah dia.

Which in turn, being my child, mestilah dia pandai tactical.
Inilah masa terbaik untuk buat2 pelbagai kesalahan seperti melompat-lompat atas katil aku dan mengganngu gugat keamanan adik adik.

So, moms out there.
Take me as youe bad example.
Never hurt your children.
There will always be a way, a much much better way to teach them rather than physical abuse or hurtful words.

And to break even with Ilhan,  we're planning to go somewhere near but needs the usage of passport,
hahah chewi kan?

So wish us luck. Rather, wish me luck, so i wont forget that Allah gave me children to be appreciated and loved.

**image are from Google.