far from gratefulness

i have always wanted something that i couldn't get. When i could get that something, instead of being happy, i'll think that this is not something i want.

Freak, ain't i?

which is why, i'll not have any wish list for myself ever, from now.
or maybe tomorrow.

** does that counts as a wish?

when we decide

normally, i don't discuss politics, simply because i could not decide my stand, yet. And i have no one to talk to about politic, as my husband is a pro-PR, including his family, while my family, pro-BN through and through.

But the internet and TV in Malaysia just has less news to share, other than politic. So, i can't avoid listening or reading one of them. I'd call Malaysian politic as a circus show, not that i know how politic is in other country, but it does looks like a circus here. Stories are getting personal, as if we held a competition, which side can entertain and make the people laugh.

I am naive when it comes to politics, i hardly believe in any conspiracy, i believe what the tv news told me, and i trust leaders who i could see his sincerety (i don't read mind, i'm just being naive). I rarely read the internet's version of malaysian politic, occasionally, i'll visit Che Det (because he has broad ideas), or Anwar (because i love the way he write and speak, contents are not necessarily trusted, i just love his vocab).

Which side do i pick? or rather, which side should we be in? The one favored by TV news or the one favored by most bloggers? Which is trusted and which is not? Which will make Malaysia better and which will not? Do we simply be with the crowd, or do we try really hard not to be with the crowd, to choose a different 'alternative' ? Or, maybe we choose according to our race, or our religion, simple : stand behind a flag that carry your race/religion, because they'll fight for you. is it? will they? Or, could we be choosing a side because we just get bored with the other side?

a friend told me that news in tv are bias, and some of the newspapers too. I told him, so does the internet, with some papers too! I am naive, but not stupid, both side has their own influence over the media (the news, the internet, the papers), so they could bring each other down.

I'd like to see the politics to be about the people. Not just about how to subsidise them, or how to critic those giving subsidy. Nor its about how to 'help' the people or how to find conspiracy about helping the people. It's about the people. Help the people, but don't help too much, until we think we need to be helped in every ways. Help us be not a lazy community, not the other race's hater, stuff like that.

so, have i chosen a side? not yet, maybe not worth it anyway.

remember the titans eh, taucu!

remember when gulai taucu used to be very delicious? sweet, a bit sour, mostly salty, rasa payau sebenarnya, but still it was my favourite back then. Taucu, is actually a mixture of soy beans, fermented. Best served with ikan kayu or ikan kembong or ikan sepat, and the fish has to be fried first. Gets it's sweetness from a lot of shallots and cucumber, and sometimes we spinkle sugar to taste. Beside that, taucu is cooked with lots of ginger and garlic.

anyway, when i cooked taucu now, i have to put in a lot of chillies to add spicy taste. I take rice with taucu and chopped cili api with soy sauce, as if the taucu's gravy is not salty enough. But i don't do much taucu nowadays, i'd go for ikan sambal, tomyam, ikan singgang or plain chicken soup. It's either sour, spicy or sweet, not all of them in one dish.

kelantanese, they put santan with taucu, i think would add creamy taste to it. So creamy, salty, sour and sweet. That's why kelantanese are different, wink*. (but heh, santan dalam taucu??)

menyimpang jauh nya aku.. actually i wanted to write about how life is different years ago. When taucu is delicous, and when food is not over rated. But, yeah, forget it. Let's cook taucu.

zombie kampung pisang, jin sheong & ketidaksampaian

1. whoaa, sekarang ada kita ada ketakutan baru di tingkat 11.. zombie kg pisang adalah element yg boleh menakutkan dan menyebabkan kak ngah & kakak terpaksa kemas toys yg bersepah. Owh, dan juga jangan ingat kampung pisang ada kat Batu Gajah, Perak je, kat Penang pun ada, kat belakang bukit depan rumah.
Siapa tak dengar cakap ibu, kita pack baju dia, hantaq pi kampung pisang. nice one, and berjaya. heheh..

2. jin sheong is ilhan's new friend. Gross, ilhan said jin sheong hingus panjang. eeww.

3. masyitah, she does not remember names. Even mine. so she called her friends : kawan-kawan. Her trademark phrase would be : "hi kawan-kawan, kak ngah dah sampai..". So much into doraemon tak pun upin& ipin.

4. won't be able to watch PGL after all. Had the opportunity, but as always, tak jadik. So bye-bye PGL, sobs sobs.

5. climbed Penang hill again, this time from different route. From back of Air Itam's 7eleven, tru big budhist's pagoda. Owh, tapi itu save for next entry, sebab ada byk gambar yg best.

6. games, mapking and Agenda Fusion is missing in my HTC. Kat mana nak repair nih?

7. benjamin button anyone? best ke anyway?

the evolution of anything

when i heard that news, the first thing came out to my mind was; i could be next.

well, when we are babies, the first thing that we could think of is just food, so we could feed our hunger, so we could continue living. After months of live in womb, suddenly live outside is more fun. So we hope to live.

and then we grow, we go to school. Of course, to pursue knowledge, for living. Be it for a piece of paper we called cert to get a good job, or merely for knowledge to continue living as adult. We're eager yet scared to be adult, so we learn. We learn to live.

once we've completed our learning, then comes the working. We work hard, day and night. To earn money, to earn recognition, bottom line, to live a good life.

Let's not forget that we also create life. We build family, we hope for children. We raised them, and feed them, and love them. So we say we have a good life. We are living happily.

And then one day, we heard someone's life is over. And we'll have this very same thing in our mind. One day it'll be my time.

and that day will come.

** sad and shock on Jo's time. May he rest in peace.

Nu+riM@lt is not a drink

There are 2 types of worker in this world :

1. Those who feel that they are not fairly treated, no good bonus, no good increament, no higher post; yet they have (or claimed to have) done almost everything excellent, and in fact more than excellent.

2. Those who feel under-utilized, but with some good luck, receive a lot of good things, good bonus, increment and all.

Mostly, i met with number 1.
rarely meet number 2.

So, which group should i join then?

And by the way, Nu+riM@lt is certainly not my type of drink, it's not a drink anyway.

From Taiping with love

i'm writing this while attending a workshop, in Taiping. The normal early year energy - workshop, meeting, etc etc.


The good thing is, we had this opportunity to watch a movie (yes, during workshop - for lesson learnt hehe, padahal aku best tgk the movie for entertainment). Titled : ehmm.. baru GM cakap semua org mesti dah lupa movie tu, dah aku lupa.

A good movie though, Sam L.Jackson, mesti best. I rate good movie tru the actors, teruk kan?



random mandom:



1. Taiping is such a place. Cool wind, green, and good food (hah, food lagik!).

2. I do not have a built in motivation kit inside me. I have to be pushed from outsiders. It's a bitter fact to admit. I like competition, so i could push myself hard. It's not something to be proud of, I feel low.

3. Ammar still has not utter a proper word. Bila nak cakap dik..

4. My ex-significant other (which is not significant anymore) is from Taiping, despite he's not being significant to me, he has always been a good friend, and significantly we first met in Taiping. So, secara matematik good place make good friend. Hehe.

Ada gambar actually, lovely Taiping.