Friday, January 30, 2009

The first tag


by hasna. Honestly, aku rasa tag yg org lain buat tak best, sebab text based. (whoaaa rhyme lah.. tak best, text based).
The rules are simple. Use Google Image to search the answers to the questions below. Then you must choose a picture in the first page of the results, and post it as your answer. After that tagged 6 people.

*I am..



*I really want to go to..
(no doubt.. )



*My favourite place..


*My favourite thing..
(aha, aku mmg suka tiru hasna, tapi takde BB aah)

*My favourite drink..




*My favourite food..



*My favourite colour..



*I was born in ..


*I live in..




*My school/college..



*My favourite story..



*My hobby..


*I wish I am..

random mandom

my random updates. after being idle for quite a long time. i am seasonal, heheh.
(oh, and my mandom - as in BMelayu's mandom - time, malas nak buat keje)
1. The long CNY holidays - aside from hiking, i cook. Soto as always, my ever favourite dish. The bergedil agak tak menjadi. Will try again one sweet day.

ini sepatutnya rupa bergedil yg jadi tapi yg ni gambar dulu, hari tu tak tangkap gambar.


2. Trip to Taman Rimba for the kid's mandi sungai session tak jadi. Mainly because Shahrun's cousin. Apalah derang ni. We called and invite them to go together and they said ok. When we came to their house waited from 2pm till 5pm, no one move. Lastly all of them bersiap (which i tote they're finally going), tetiba all of them nak pi Queensbay Mall. WTF. My kids has been waiting eagerly to mandi sungai, they've actually bring their pelampung and swim suits.

One of the cousin has a baby, around Ammar's age, and the only outing he had were to the Malls beside to both Nenek's house. Pity him, pi playground pun tak penah. Lantaklah, janji aku geram, anak aku tak dapat mandi sungai.

ammar with confused face : "jadi ke tak jadi nak pi ni, kalau tak kita pi smayang ramai2"

3. Gossip - sebab i have a paper (Metro) in front of me right now (staff punya). Elyana buncit (elyana yg nyayi tak pakai kasut tu). Buncit sebab buatan orang, hmm.. busung. Made me think. alasan baik untuk perut aku yg buncit, hahaha.. (ok, cop. cancel, kang jadi btul2 kang)

aku malas letak gambar elyana or any buncit pic


4. Gaza - when TV3 aired a girl who promised that she'd bomb israel the way they did to her family, it did not surprised me. But, somehow i'd like to think that, this is israel's way of not stopping war to Palestine. The palestinian will always holds grudge against israel and there will always be another Hamas leader who attack Israel, of course, look at what Israel did to them. This is what israel wants, another reason to bomb Palestine.

Special note to Hitler, if u can still hear our living voices, i'll scream to the top of my lung :
"why didn't u kill all of them?????"

pic from : http://blog.wired.com/

5. Pls, pray that i'll be able to watch Puteri Gunung Ledang the Musical this time (season 3 - 6th Feb 2009 to 21st Feb 2009, Istana Budaya, KL) . I think Tiara re-play just for me. I've missed out the first 2 session. Please, i'll beg and cry to my boss, please let me attend course/meeting on february. Read from somewhere that this will be Tiara's last performance as PGL. Hasna nak tengok lagi? Watching with u wud be much fun!

pic from : http://www.enfiniti.com.my/pglm3/images/gallery/act1/res/BE4V5301.JPG

6. wondering what will UMNO be with Najib in charge? Frankly, i don't like his wife, she has this arrogant face with no sincerity even when she spoke about palestinian fund. I'm judging the book by it's cover, but come on, how come the book's title is digimon and the cover pic is cinderella?

and i am an official Microsoft Paint hater. Susah gila nak edit image. Buruk pulak tu.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

up up and away!!

I am on a mission to challenge the great kinabalu. will be going there this march, of course leaving the 3 'power rangers@ninja turtle', they'll have their own good time in KB with their tokma. the large play area with good food is very important to them, so in a way i'm giving them a good holiday package. ok, escapism, as always.

anyway, i'm a lazy bump. i'm supposed to train at least once a week to defeat kinabalu. i have only went for 4 sessions, so hopefully Nuri will still be in use, at least for amateur climber rescue.

So, last saturday, the 'semangat besar badan pun semua dah besar' climbers drag our butts to train. This time, we climb 3 hills, starting from Taman Rimba Teluk Bahang to Bukit Cempaka, Bukit Laksamana, and the other bukit, i forgot.
FYI, another one hill, and we'll arrive at Bukit Bendera (Penang Hill). Next trip maybe.

this is how tinggi the steps, letih kaki aku yg tembam nih.

the first *pit stop*, and i'm already panting like a dog

ok, at the 3rd hill's peak, panting, panting...


hehe, muka penat aku? baik letak muka penat nasri..


Baru dapat email from the ever rajin organizer (Nizam), we'll climb Gunung Jerai this saturday. Yeah.. kaki ku!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

kenapa ibu pergi?

Anak aku yg kedua tanya pada suatu pagi, sebelum ke melangkah masuk ke sekolah (sebenarnya bukan sekolah, tapi nursery yg dia anggap sekolah sebab dia 3 tahun tapi nak jugak pergi tempat ala-ala sekolah) :

"kenapa ibu pergi?"

(sambil menangis)

as in, kenapa aku tinggal kan dia. Dan sebagai ibu, mestilah aku jawab spontan , "ibu pergi kerja.. kak ngah jgn nangis, kan kak ngah nak pergi sekolah.."

kak ngah nangis jugak, sambil meronta-ronta. Kali ni tanpa soalan. Aku yang dah estimate mesti sampai lambat ke office ni, terpaksa tinggalkan dia, walaupun agak sedih (sepatutnya tak, she's in good hands).
sambil memandu, aku terfikir. Kak ngah tanya kenapa aku pergi sebab apa? Dia rasa aku takkan balik dan tinggal kan dia terus ke? Aku pun tak arif sgt perasaan budak-budak, tapi manusia tak kan menangis kalau tak sedih (kecuali happy moments yg tak tahan dan sgt tersentuh hati), dan budak-budak pulak bukan selalunya pure and perasaan dia sgt jujur ke?

Terus aku rasa, alamak, nak mati dah ke??

Dan dalam kekacauan minda tu, aku rupa-rupanya dah sampai kat sekolah anak yg pertama. (ok, yg ni kindy betul) Kakak terus buka pintu kereta, salam aku, cakap bye-bye dan pimpin tgn teacher belinda, masuk dalam pagar sekolah. Eh, senang pulak.

Aku pun rasa, belum masa nak mati lagi kot (nasib baik betul, hari ni hidup lagi).

Masih memandu, dan masih berfikir. Kenapa kak ngah sangat sedih, tapi kakak tidak? (oh no i do not take answers like, kakngah kecik lagi dia tak biasa, kakak dah besar, aku mmg suka jawapan tak simple dalam case ini).

Adakah sekolah kakak lagi best dari sekolah kak ngah, so kak ngah tak selesa kat sekolah?
Tak mungkin, sebab sekolah kak ngah lebih besar dan ramai kawan-kawan. Sekolah kakak pulak kecik. Sekolah kakak kena cakap english atau mandarin, kakak baru tukar sekolah, dia cakap melayu sahaja, kadang2 ada slang kelate pulak tu. Sah dia tak faham sangat apa kawan dan cikgu dia cakap(aku dah confirm haritu, kakak cakap, dia tak faham). Patutnya kakak lagi pressure.Tapi dia masih ok dan dah ada kawan pun.

ataupun, mungkin kak ngah lebih suka duduk rumah, tengok ASTRO Aruna dengan bibik mcm tahun lepas?
Kak ngah nangis tiap2 pagi sebelum aku kena lari (or sneak out) keluar dari pintu rumah. Jadi tak, dia tak suka juga duduk rumah.

Masih tak dapat jawapan (memandu dah sampai pun ofis). Ataupun, kita tengok kes ini dari sudut lain. Kenapa kakak tak menangis dan tak tanya kenapa ibu pergi.

Adakah sebab kakak suka pergi sekolah, sebab boleh jumpa kawan-kawan cantik ?(oh, kakak memang suka kawan-kawan cantik, dia rasa dia tergolong dalam kumpulan budak-budak cantik. Orang cakap muka kakak mcm muka aku.. jadi kesimpulannya..)
Kakak memang suka pergi sekolah, tapi sebab dia tak pasti, mungkin bukan yg diatas, mungkin ya.
Kak ngah pun suka juga pergi sekolah, lepas tak nampak ibu, cikgu kata kak ngah akan main bersuka-ria dengan rakan-rakan sampai tertidur, dan ada sekali tu, sampai tertinggal van nak balik rumah sebab terlena sambil meleleh air liur.
Kak ngah pun akan happy setiap kali keluar rumah dan sampai di sekolah. Kak ngah cuma sedih bila ibu nak pergi.
Bukan saja nak waktu disekolah, waktu bila2 pun. Kak ngah sedih ibu pergi. Hatta ibu pergi ke bilik termenung pun dia sedih, dan ketuk2 pintu bilik itu sampai ibu cancel hajat.
Kak ngah sedih kalau ibu tutup pintu bilik sebab taknak bising sewaktu jawab panggilan-panggilan kerja di rumah, kak ngah akan meraung kuat-kuat sambil ketuk pintu bilik sampai tak larat. Kalau panggilan tersebut 30 minit, selama itulah kak ngah akan meraung.

Mungkin kak ngah sayang sangat dengan ibu. Kakak pun sayang jugak, Ammar pun. Jadi kenapa? Kenapa kak ngah tanya kenapa ibu pergi? kenapa kak ngah selalu sedih bila nak berpisah dgn ibu? (berpisah dibalik pintu pun sedih)


Kalau tanya kak ngah jawapan dia - "kak ngah nak ibu"

kalau aku terjemah ke bahasa orang dewasa yg matang dan berfikiran kompleks, mungkin jadi :

"kak ngah rasa tak keruan bila tak nampak ibu, kak ngah nak ibu selalu ada dekat kak ngah. Sebab kak ngah tak tau ibu sayang atau tak dekat kak ngah. Ibu selalu cakap dan cerita dengan kakak, ibu selalu manja-manja kan ammar. Kak ngah dengar cerita sama-sama dengan kakak, tapi tak berapa faham, kak ngah nak cakap pun pelat lagi"

"ibu manja-manja juga dengan kak ngah, tapi kak ngah dah berat, dah tak sesuai. Ammar ringan lagi, dia pun tak tau cakap lagi, sesuai lah"
"inilah orang cakap dilema anak yg tengah, rasa kurang disayangi. Rasa tak hebat macam kakak tapi tak cute macam adik. Jadi disebabkan itu, kak ngah nak selalu ada dengan ibu. Supaya rasa ibu sayang kak ngah."
"kalau ibu pergi, rasa macam ibu tak sayang kak ngah"

mungkin?

kalau yang itu, kak ngah jgn risau. Ibu sayang semua (ok ini boleh jawapan simple)
Semua orang hebat dan cute.

Anak tepi ke, tengah ke, semua hebat (hebat mmg perkataan yg kakak dan kak ngah suka)
kalau tak percaya, kak ngah bacalah entry ni nanti bila dah boleh baca.

buat sementara waktu ni, kak ngah boleh nangis dan tanya kenapa ibu pergi, tiap-tiap kali kak ngah sedih. Ibu akan jawab, "jgn risau, ibu sayang kak ngah", banyak-banyak kali sampai kak ngah faham.

dan sampai ibu betul-betul pergi.

*forgive me Allah, if i haven't love my children enough, if i haven't guide them enough. Forgive me, as they deserve everything good. Forgive me..

Monday, January 5, 2009

let's do it my way..

or no way,
(note: read this with Frank Sinatra's My Way song as sound effect)

it's midnite and i'm stuck doing nothing.
what a fool - staying up without purpose
to save my (ass) pride, i am actually going to complete my report,
which has been assigned to me last week, for tomorrow's submission.


and being me, i delay it.
i'm doing it my way.



i took a hearty 15 minutes to compose such a useless entry.
i have readers now, which has made me
trembling to write, and keeping whatever i should write to myself.
15 years ago, it was so much easier,

and i thought i could rewind those back, and do it my way again,
i should have.


oh, and readers : don't mind me, i'm searching my way.



if this is a walk,
i'll walk my style,
if this is a test,
i'll answer it at my level,
if this is a task,
i'll... huh?
well, let's stop this rantings,
i've reports to complete, so much of doing it my way..
either my way or the boss's way!

God forgive me, for i'm angry without reason.