a feel to let out

this is my second post in a day, which is so unlike me. I hardly published one post within a week.
But today i feel like writing to let out.

I need a break. I do not know if i deserve a long long luxurious holiday, but i just need it. If there's a santa, i'll told him that i've been bad, maybe i do not deserve a rest from home/kids routine. But who cares ? i need it.

I felt pain in every inch of my body. I always feel dizzy and sleepy, as if i need a whole day of sleep. Does it sounds like any fatal desease's symptom? (well hopefully not). This sickness is just due to my pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, i accept the fact that i'm pregnant, i just whine because i feel sick.

I did not get enough rest. My pregnant friends get to sleep at 10.00 pm, get rest while dear hubby take care of the other kids, and hmmm.. i have to sleep at 11.00 pm , and that is considered a lucky day. Some other days, i get to lay on my back at 12.00 am, after a hard day of carrying both daughters, when most pregnant ladies can't even carry their notebook bag (it is believed that during pregnancy, u must avoid carrying heavy things for your health)

I may sound complaining, but believe me, i just need to let it go. I am tired. I feel like crying.
Even writing this entry made my back ache.

I never believe in Santa. Thus, i shall request from Allah. Allah, i am tired, and it affects my spouse. Please Allah, give strength to me, as i always believe that You will never test if i am not capable of this.

**relieved that i let it out..